Update

I know I said I was going to update earlier, but I've been pretty busy, as you can probably understand.  Plus I keep forgetting that I haven't done this yet, because I keep starting and not publishing the post.  I guess I don't want this to finally end my exchange

One thing that was surprising to me when I got home was the amount of stuff I had - after living on what I could lug around with me, seeing all the JUNK I had at home was amazing.  My awesome friend Beede helped me like the first few days I was home by bringing me dinner (Taco Bell~), and then helping me clean.  We threw out so much, gave things away, rearranged my room - we even took my closet doors down!  I know I still have too much stuff, but I'm too sentimental to throw it all out.

And I forgot what it was like to have the dogs around all the time.  Sure, two of them would cuddle sometimes, but if one starts barking, the other two join in and just run around the house and jump and generally just make noise.  I can't say I miss the quiet of my houses in Belgium because I love my dogs, but sometimes I wish we only had 2 :P

My cuties: Meg and Edgar on the bed, and Skeeter on the floor

Driving the first time was pretty interesting too.  I forgot how the pedals were, so it was a bit speedy at the beginning.  But after the first trip, it seriously was just like riding a bike - it was completely natural.  I've driven a few thousand miles since coming home, so obviously I'm used to it again.  Same with riding horse - I've ridden over 100 miles on horseback since coming home, which is great.  I missed it last year.  My mom clocked us going 37 mph, and we could have gone faster had we had the space (we had to slow down right away because of a road crossing).

A typical day at the Ace in the Hole Ranch

Of course, now I'm back at school.  I'm taking a full courseload, which is pretty difficult at times.  Luckily it's already halfway through the semester, and next semester should be easier.  I forgot what it was like to actually do schoolwork!  I also started working at a gas station in September, and it's going okay.  My coworkers are pretty cool, so at least we can complain about work together :P  It's really not that bad, just tons of busy work, and doing the same thing every day.  It's not that fufilling, but really, what entry level job is?  Hopefully I can find something better next year (which is not apt to happen, considering I'll be in a college town).

Anyway, life is basically the same as it was before I left.  I go to the same university, I drive the same car, I have the same room, I have the same friends.  But, I also have friends from around the world.  Some I'll see again, some I won't.  And I know a bit of another language, which is new.  I may not know much, but it's nice.  I still think partly in it from time to time, and some of my notes are in Dutch.

I think the worst part of exchange, actually, is knowing it won't be the same when you come back (saying goodbyes at the airport is a close second).  But I mean, I can go back to visit, but I won't be part of the social fabric there.  I can go visit the fanfare, but I won't be sitting at the repetitie and playing a song we've had for months.  I can visit the CVO, but I won't be sitting in class with Marcela, Santi, May, Carol, Begona and all the others talking about what we were planning on doing after class.  It will be fun, sure, but it won't be the same.  It's really sad to think about.

Everyone, thank you so much for following this blog over my year - it really made my day that people cared enough about me to read what I was doing.  Seeing new pageviews always made me happy :)  I hope you enjoyed reading about my year as much as I enjoyed the year.

Exchange students, especially those going to Belgium, I hope this helps you out even a little bit.  I hope you realize that exchange is absolutely amazing, but there are days that, like in your home country, are just normal days.  You go to school, you go home, and that's about it.  If you ever have any questions, even if it's been a while after this post, feel free to contact me!  I'd love to help in anyway possible.

Iedereen in België, dank u voor het lezen van deze blog.  Ik hou van jullie, en ik hoop dat je naar Amerika komen.  Hopelijk kom ik naar België in een paar jaren.  Iedereen in de fanfare, bedankt voor alles.  Ik hou van jullie, en ik mis jullie elke dag.  Als niet voor jullie, zou ik niet een leuke jaar gehad.  Ik zal heel hard proberen naar Bad Schelma te komen.  En jullie moeten naar Amerika komen!  Mijn vader mist jullie ook :P  Hij praat over jullie elke tijd wij over België praten (of waneer wij een drankje hebben~).  Ik zal jullie nooit vergeten.  Ik zal proberen om mij Nederlands te oefenen, ik weet dat het helemaal niet goed is :P

Tot de volgende iedereen!

Day 361 / Day 1

Donderdag, 2 Augustus 2012

This was the worst day of my exchange, by far.

First off, I didn't sleep. After the last entry, I went outside to watch the coming storm, recieved the CD from the fanfare concert we did in December, laid in bed trying to sleep, and then I just ended up watching BBC for like an hour or two. When it was time to leave, I was feeling so sick, like I would just  throw up everywhere.  Not fun.

Bart, Heidi and I got in the car and left for the airport.  It was a great morning, not too cold, not too warm, no rain.  One of the most painful car rides of my life.  It was pretty quiet, so I just had thinking time, which is never good.  Imagine the most painful sensation you've ever felt in your life.  Now multiply that by 10, and feel it everywhere in your body.  It's not like a broken wrist where you can isolate the pain.  It's just everywhere.

No one tells you about that when you sign up for an exchange.  Sure, they say it's 10x harder to leave your host country than it is to leave your home country, but those are just random numbers.  It's so much more difficult to actually feel it.  They never say that making amazing friends (especially so many of them) makes it that much harder to leave them.  Sure you can come back to visit, but you won't have the same day to day contact.  It hurts.

I held it together though.  Didn't cry on the way to the airport, just felt like someone was repeatedly punching me in the stomach.  Dropped my bags off, and then Marcela showed up.  We split my Mountain Dew and went to get her bags wrapped so they wouldn't break open, chatted, and just reminisced.  It really couldn't be a year ago when we both arrived.  I'm so glad we could arrive and leave on the same day - it would have felt weird to do it any other way.

Marcela's family showed up, and Marcela gave me a Kinder Egg since it would be my last legal one until I could get to Canada :P  We walked to the gate, said our goodbyes.  Well, I said it to my family and to Marcela's, and then she walked as far as possible with me to the passport check.  It just felt... unreal.  Like, I'd go on a little trip and then we'd be back together having fries in Turnhout with Santi.  I think my mind just made it so I couldn't comprehend what was going on.

Went through security, got to my flight (delayed, OF COURSE I found it out after I was through security D: ), and then sat on that for quite some time.  I tried sleeping, but it didn't work.  I read my book as soon as I took off, and I was crying by like the second letter.  I'm going to miss everyone so much.  And I like having the notes in Dutch so even if a friend steals the book to read it, they can't understand :P  I ended up crying for the like first hour of the flight.  And then I did something stupid (which only Collin would probably understand) - I read "John Dies at the End" while listening to Yeasayer and being both physically and mentally exhausted (remember, my last "real" night of sleep was Sunday night - woke up early on Tuesday and Wednesday counted more as passing out than sleeping).  Combining those three things made me SUPER paranoid.  Like, I thought I would hear plane noises, or if I tried to sleep I would feel like I was gone for like an hour when it really was like a minute.  Seriously, don't read that book if you haven't slept in a long time.

After landing I had to pick up my bags.  This is where it gets interesting.  So, as soon as we started descending, I started crying.  Not like bawling, but my tear ducts were just leaking.  I went through homeland security, and then picked up my bags from the thing.  So, imagine a 19 year old kid with red eyes from no sleep, crying, hair a mess from the plane, wearing cowboy boots, and carrying two LARGE suitcases and then a carry on, a backpack, and a rotary blazer.  I was quite the sight to see.  Luckily, around the corner was the next baggage drop.

Or so I thought.  See, the lady there said, "Do you have a connecting flight?  Then put your bags back on the strip."  So, my exhausted brain was like, SWEET, that was easy!  I have a connecting flight, and now I don't need to carry my bags.

Wrong-o.  Dropped the bags, and then checked the sign.  No flights to Minneapolis.  I asked the lady, and she's like, we don't fly to Minneapolis.  Oops.  Forgot I had to change airports :P  Went to baggage services to tell them I made a stupid and please fix it for me.  Then outside I just kinda broke.  Like, everything was real.  The airport was only in English.  When I'd hand someone something and say "alstublieft" I'd get weird looks instead of it being normal.  It didn't feel like Belgium.  I missed everyone so much.  My bags were gone because of me being stupid.  And I had been awake for like 35 hours.

So then the real waterworks started, probably scaring even more people around me.  Luckily on the bus to LaGuardia ($12.50?!) a nice lady started talking to me, making me have to control myself to answer.  We started talking about other things so I could calm myself down.  Very thankful to her.  It took like 40 minutes to get to LaGuardia (note to self - never book flights with an agent again), and then when I got into the airport I say a pub and I was like, Man, I could really use a burger and a drink right now.

But oh yeah, back in the US.  No drinks for Kelsey :(  So much culture shock already!  Went through security just to get to a place to sit and have internet.  Of course, then the stupid pay-internet wasn't loading, so then I was just sitting crying over my computer, swearing at it in 3 different languages (YAY being multicultural!)  Finally got it to work, called my dad on google voice, let him know what was up.

Had my first meal in the US (Auntie Ann's pretzel and blue raspberry lemonade), changed clothes so I would look presentable back in MN, and then got on the flight.  It was like 3 hours, and I couldn't sleep.  I tried.  I did everything from laying my head on the table to curling up in my seat.  Nothing worked.  So that really sucked.  Got to MN, and it was like OMG I'M HOME.  Got super happy.  Crying stopped.  I basically ran from the gate to where I would see my family.  My parents and brothers were there, so that was really nice.  My brothers gave me a Mountain Dew and a Reese's because they just knew I would need it.

We drove to Applebees, them basically just letting me talk the whole time.  The roads felt HUGE!  And no people on bikes!  Anyways, at Applebees, a few of my friends were there already.  Hugged, said hi, and just hung over.  All in all, over 20 people were at Applebees for my party.  It was so nice.  The menu's even said "Welcome Back"!  Around 11.30 (so around 40 hours awake or so), I was just dead.  We went home, saw the dogs again, got a mini tour of what we've changed in the house.  They kept pushing me to go to bed, and when I got to bed I found out why - my brother and my friend put a giant horse head mask under the covers.  It was pretty awesome.

Home just felt weird too.  Like, it was the same, but different.  It wasn't like how "my" house was in Belgium.  The door handles were knobs, not the pull down ones.  The counter in the bathroom felt lower.  There was carpet (and now that I think about it, I don't ever remember seeing carpet in Belgium...).  My room had WAY more stuff in it than I was used to.  It was just... different.  We'll see what happens.